You may want to talk to your GP, District Nurse or Macmillan Nurse about your own concerns and fears, especially when you think death is near.
Physical changes
As death approaches the person you are caring for may change physically:
- Swallowing may be difficult, so taking medication becomes impossible. Drugs may need to be administered via a small pump known as a syringe driver.
- Their breathing patterns may alter, with breaths becoming more laboured and farther apart or they may sound 'chesty'. This is normal and does not usually cause distress to the patient.
- They may move involuntarily.
- You may notice a glazed look or a change in their skin colour or body temperature.
What you can do
You can still give tender loving care by:
- re-positioning the person you are caring for regularly, if you are able
- touching the person, for example holding their hand
- using foam swabs to moisten and cleanse their mouth and keeping their lips moist with petroleum jelly
- keeping their eyes moist with normal saline (available from a pharmacy)
- talking to and comforting the person.
Hearing is normally the last sense to be lost. Speak normally and calmly, and avoid upsetting subjects.
Do not feel guilty if you find it difficult to perform these tasks or you wish it was all over. It is natural to want it to stop. You may want to ring your GP or a relative or friend, so that you have someone with you.
When you should call for help
Contact the doctor, District Nurse or Macmillan Nurse when:
- you need more physical support
- symptoms are not controlled and the person you are caring for appears distressed in any way
- you need to talk to someone or ask any questions.
It is generally expected that the GP will have seen the patient in the two weeks prior to death. If the doctor has not visited and you think death is near, either request a visit yourself or ask a nurse to do it for you.
Bereavement
We can offer information about bereavement which you may find useful if you are or have been a carer.
