Claire was born in South Shields in 1952 and has lived in the area all her life. She went to work in a factory after leaving school. She met her husband-to-be in 1970 and, two years later, got married. Their son was born in 1989, after which Claire became an auxiliary nurse.
Claire's father was diagnosed with oral cancer in the early nineties. He was admitted into hospice care in 1996, and he later died there. Bereavement counselling had an affect on her own career development as it prompted her to take a counselling course, She also joined the Marie Curie Nursing Service and became a hospice volunteer.
So he was assessed for pain?
"He was assessed for pain, yes. The professor, who was at the hospice at the time, wanted a conference with Dad, Mum and myself, just to say that they couldn’t offer anything other than palliative care, and did he want to, you know, ask a question. Well Mam didn’t, she just burst out crying. The Home Care Sister was in with us as well, and Dad just went blank, he just couldn’t think of anything to say because I think bad news always hits Dad and, you know, he was just stunned. All I asked was ‘Would you keep Dad pain free?’ and he said, ‘Yes, that would be our goal to do that’ you know. So that was devastating news."
"So when there was chance of Dad coming out of the hospice something else happened and he never did come out. One Sunday I used to go up every morning with his papers and obviously I was working night duty but the hospital were really kind, they used to split my nights up so I could have a bit time with Dad through the day and at night.
One Sunday morning when I got to the hospice I knew by the Staff Nurse’s face, well the Junior Sister, I apologise, I used to wave at the door, you know at about eight o’clock in the morning, and she’d always wave back and I thought, ‘Oh, she’s not waving this time’ and she says, ‘Now don’t worry but your Dad’s had a fall.’ I said, ‘Oh, no, I don’t believe it.’ I mean in the bedroom, from the bed to the bathroom was only about, what, two or three, four yards, but when they were having the report, they hand over at quarter to eight, they just heard a thump and Dad’s hip had just given in."
"So what they needed to do was send him to the hospital for an x-ray and this is how a stupid a daughter I could be then, you know, knowing a bit about nursing was, ‘Well, I’ll take him’. ‘Well, no, he needs to go by ambulance, Val, you know, he’s really ill’, and you just don’t think of these things, you know. ‘Well he may need an operation.’ I says, ‘Well you can’t operate because, you know, this nodule in his lung, he could die …’ ‘Well they could do it without an anaesthetic’. You just don’t think of all these things.
"Anyway, I went with Dad to the hospital, x-rayed him, and a wonderful consultant had looked at the x-ray and she showed it to me and it was unbelievable. It was just a black hole where my Dad’s hip should have been. So the metastases right through his bone was just horrendous, and he said ‘There’s really nothing I can do for your Dad.’ ‘In a normal case we might be able to cement this and fill that gap, but ...no.’
"And it was only right really, and he explained this all to Dad and Dad says ‘No, I think you’re absolutely right’ as well."
So at the time did he have some quality of life?
"That’s right and that’s what the consultant wanted to maintain as well. He knew Dad was at the hospice and we came straight back that day. What life he has he wanted for Dad to have quality, and I thought that was excellent."
"And I mean I’d like to say as well, the staff throughout the hospice were so supportive to Mum and I, and Dad, it was unbelievable."
"But if I can come onto the pain factor, I used to come in to Dad and say, ‘How are you feeling today?’ ‘Oh I’ve been ken.' I says, ‘You’ve got pain.’ I could, I don’t know what it is with me, I can tell when people have got pain, it’s just etched in their face, either their eyebrows are drawn together, or just their eyes. And he’d say, ‘Well I didn’t like to ask.’ I’d say, ‘Dad! You have to ask’ so I used to have to ask, and I’d say to the girls, ‘Can Dad have some morphine’ which he was on. ‘Yeah, of course he can.’ He wouldn’t ask or say. But this was Dad, you know. So …"
