Kelly was just 30 years old when she was diagnosed with stomach cancer. The diagnosis came six months after the birth of her fourth child Amber Rose in July 2009.
Intensive treatments and surgeries followed. But sadly in November this year Kelly was told that her cancer was terminal. She decided not to pursue further treatment, wanting to enjoy every minute with her family.
"I’ve got cancer for the third time, it’s the type of cancer that buries itself and hides. I have to live with the fact that this is the way my life is going to play out now.
I’m always going to have cancer and I’m always going to be battling. Sooner or later, this will end up taking my life, and my kids will end up losing their mum.
Before this happened to me I thought that cancer was for old people, not young mums like me.
I was referred to the hospice by a district nurse but my first reaction was 'Hell no' I’m not going there, I’m not old, I’m not dying and I’m not planning on dying!
It took me about four weeks to give it a try and I told my partner Clive to leave his mobile switched on. I was sure I’d be ringing him in half an hour to come and get me because I was not going to like it.
But then I remember looking in and thinking 'you’re not old and you don’t look like you’re dying and you look like you might be having some fun'.
I met a nurse called Clare whose sense of humour immediately got me laughing and I thought maybe this isn’t what I thought it was going to be like.
I saw everyone laughing and giggling and not acting like they were ill. When I left at the end of the day, I told Clive that I really enjoyed myself and I am going back.
It felt like I’d been meeting up with mates that I’d always known. Now, I’d be lost without this place. I can talk candidly about what I’m feeling and it’s nice to talk to people who know what I’m going through.
Until you’ve actually been through it you can’t understand. You can sympathise but you can’t understand. It’s so nice meeting other people that really do know.
I see the same crowd every Wednesday and I would consider them all to be very close friends now, they even came to my daughter’s birthday party recently.
The hospice is the only place I can get upset too, I can’t do this in front of my four amazing children. They’ve been through enough and seen too much so I have to be strong for them.
That’s why I love the hospice so much, it’s the only place I can be me, it’s the only place that I can be Kelly. Without this place, I don’t think I’d be able to cope.
I see Sue, the hospice councillor, she lets me say how I’m feeling and thinking. My children are seeing her too. She has given me two books to read with them to encourage them to question my treatment.
Jodie, who is 12, loves the hospice; she always says that when I come home I look so happy and refreshed. She has been through so much. When I’m sick, it’s always Jodie behind me rubbing my back. If I’m awake all night, she’s with me.
Clive loves it too; it’s the one day of the week that I don’t run around after the kids. He sees that it helps me and that makes him feel happy too.
My time at the hospice gives me a way to take back a little control over what’s happening. You completely lose control when you’ve got cancer. Your body is not your own; your feelings are not your own because you’ve got to worry about how your family are feeling.
The pampering really helps, I’ve had all the facials and complementary therapies, I really love the reflexology, it helps me to relax. Saint Francis Hospice offers all of these services to me and all the family – it’s great!
I also have home visits from Katy Skinner, one of the hospice’s specialist nurses. She phones me at home regularly and the team is always familiar with my condition so I don’t have to repeat myself all the time. It comforts me to know that help is at hand when I need it.
Without this place, I would be lost, my kids would be lost. I knew nothing about hospices until I came here.
Before I had cancer, I would have walked away from a hospice fundraiser, I’d have been too busy to take any notice. It’s only now that I see the amazing work that the nurses and staff at the hospice do. It really opens your eyes.
I was one of these people before I got ill who would have walked straight past you if I saw you canvassing for support. I’d have told you I was too busy and walked away but now... everything has changed and I want to do anything I can to help.
