"After a few days ...., I received a letter from the hospice telling me there was support available if I wanted it. It was like food for the starving."
The need for bereavement services
Sometimes inadequate communication from external healthcare professionals during the final stages of an illness, can have a lasting effect on families, carers and those close to a patient.
Outside the hospice very little support was offered to bereaved people and they were often left feeling isolated and overwhelmed by practical matters, such as how to register a death or make funeral arrangements.
Robert visited three other hospices and consulted widely with people in a range of statutory and voluntary organisations, to develop a service to meet the needs of people living in the area.
New bereavement programme
A comprehensive bereavement programme was developed which included:
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a monthly ‘drop-in’ for all families and friends
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regular contact with the recently bereaved
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an anniversary card one year after the death
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bereavement groups
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work with individuals and families experiencing distress prior to the death of a family member
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running children’s bereavement days for all children who had lost a close family member
- training and support for volunteers and staff.
About 60% of people using the service refer themselves to it and it is promoted widely through local organisations. Other referrals come from healthcare professionals and people in the community including teachers and nurses.
Recognition that nobody experiences bereavement in the same way means that support is not time limited in any way.
Making a difference
It is often forgotten that long-term illness can cause enormous financial difficulties for families, who often have no idea of their entitlements. The social workers work closely with external voluntary and statutory agencies including Age Concern, Westminster Council and small charities to ensure that financial stress is minimised as much as possible.
A recently bereaved widow of one of the patients said:
"When I returned home to our flat I was in a state of profound shock. I could hardly move or speak and felt as if I was in a black hole of despair from which there was no escape.
After a few days in this state, I received a letter from the hospice telling me there was support available if I wanted it. It was like food for the starving. Suddenly there was a chink of light in the darkness and I responded immediately. A few days later, after a phone conversation, Robert Moroney, the hospice’s bereavement services coordinator, visited me at home. I found him warm and empathic. Here was someone who was able to recognise and understand what I was going through and make sense of the emotional intensity. I actually felt as if I was going mad before Robert’s visit.
Robert’s knowledge as a social worker was invaluable and he was able to help me get financial support I was entitled to. I had no idea that I was entitled to some benefits."
Working with children
Often people are unsure how to treat children experiencing bereavement so this part of the service has proved particularly valuable. A bereavement library of books and resources has been developed, which are helpful for parents and carers to read with children to help generate discussion and questions.
In addition regular children’s bereavement days, provide a supportive environment where children can express their feelings in group games and art activities.
The future
St John’s continues to build the service by consolidating the work and developing relationships with GPs, schools and district nurses. Robert is also exploring how a monthly drop-in group might work for past clients who wish to stay in touch.
A bereavement user forum for families, friends and carers has been developed to help the evolution of the bereavement service, and to make sure that it meets the needs of the people it was set up to support.
Further information
Find out more about the HBOS bereavement support worker grants, which Help the Hospices managed.
For more information about St John’s Hospice, including the services they provide and contact details, please visit the St John’s Hospice website.
